your eyes? my heart?

I have slipped into "not giving a fuck" mode. I have not been here in a long time.

I feel as if I have tried my hardest and my hardest is not good enough. I have turned into a creep.

When you were here before. Couldn't look you in the eye. You're just like an angel, Your skin makes me cry. You float like a feather. In a beautiful world. I wish I was special. You're so very special. But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doin' here? I don't belong here. I don't care if it hurts, I wanna have control. I want a perfect body. I want a perfect soul. I want you to notice when I'm not around. You're so very special. I wish I was special. But I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doin' here? I don't belong here. ohhhh, ohhhh... She's running out again. She's running out. She run run run run...run... run...Whatever makes you happy. Whatever you want. You're so very special. I wish I was special. But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doin' here?I don't belong here. I don't belong here...

I have always tried to live my life to fullest and ask questions along the way if I feel necessary. Lately I have been asking questions that are relatively simple to me... but I am not getting answers. Its weird when you know someone so well. At one point you could look in their eyes and see all the answers to things you weren't sure of. As of late when I look... I see nothing. I am not living my life to seek out answers. Seek and you shall find is null and void. I am not seeking. I am asking. Plain and simple. I try to make things simple. I do not like this.

On an up note... the weather is AMAZING.