outlet.

So unproductive.

Made it to work by 9. I just was not into it. I stared at my Microbiology textbook for an hour reading the same sentence over and over.

Work picked up so I stepped away form the book.

Didn't work job #2 today.

Instead I went up to UB with Rita. Then went to Marley Macys and Nordstroms again for free stuf.

It was weird walking the same streets I have walked so many times before with my daughter. I felt like she knew the truth. Not that I lie to her. I just felt like she could sense... Mommy walked down this street with some scumbag. In reality she has no idea. It makes me wonder what I am doing walking with a 'scumbag'. Its a safety net and I am not sure why I feel the need to utilize it. Its a comfort zone. Its just easier.

But me being a paranoid freak thinking Ella has insider info made me think... wtf?! I have a role as Mommy. I have a role as single 22 year old. I don't know what I am doing. I do this day by day. I wish I had a handbook sometimes. The roles don't interfere. I guess walking with Ella down streets I have crawled is an eye opener? No street crawling in 09. Less beer this year.

I'm weird. I rule. I do a great job.

SO excited for friday... I will not behave. This I know. I figure wylin out once a month is healthy. Yeah. Healthy.

I am going to try to force myself to write daily.